Evanescence
by Adevlo. D
Summary: Her devotion to him could never amount to the unreserved love he showed to the sun, no matter how many times he held her.


**A/N: Thought I'd practice some SasuNaru seeing how it's the bane of my emotional pain. This isn't a Sakura-bashing, even though I don't really like her as a character. It's just going by what I think of her character and how she was portrayed.**

 **Disclaimer:** I do not own any of the Naruto characters or the image shown above.

 **Warning:** Yaoi (malexmale), crude language, explicit sexual content

 **Rated:** NC-17

 **Pairing:** Sasuke Uchiha & Naruto Uzumaki, heavy!Sasuke Uchiha & Sakura Haruno,

 **Summary:** _Her devotion to him could never amount to the unreserved love he showed to the sun, no matter how many times he held her._

* * *

 **Evanescence**

Haruno Sakura was on cloud nine. Not only had Sasuke returned back to the village after three heartbreaking years, but he was also reciprocating her long unrequited love – albeit, in his own stoic way.

She was content with the lack of random flowers that never appeared at her doorstep. She was fine with their very minimal physical contact just as long as she could bask in his comforting presence. She was even okay with their limited time together as his spiritual journeys took priority.

All in all, her dreams from when she was but a mere child had come true, and nothing could ruin it for her.

…Except, there were times when she is a woman first and foremost, and most women yearn for the masculine love and affection that is so romantically publicized in love stories and afternoon television shows.

So, when their pseudo-date ended right at dawn, she huskily whispered into his ear, "Please…Sasuke-kun…" while writhing sinuously on his lap.

He provided her with the satisfaction he'd been denying her for weeks now and it was such a glorious moment that when he gasped her name in the crook of her slender neck while thrusting rhythmically into her tight, wet heat she literally sobbed into his hair, her hands holding him tight even after they'd finished.

His frazzled hair, illuminated regal features and dark, mismatched eyes would always accompany her everywhere she went, permanently embedded into her mind like the _Tsukuyomi_ she'd been caught in a number of times, only the image wasn't a conjured illusion. No, it was real and he was real so she held him closer to her naked body, as if confirming her sated yet aching mind.

His strong arm tightened around her shoulders and she sighed, letting her body fall into a deep slumber, Sasuke's alert wakefulness left unnoticed in favor of her dreams.

When she awoke, it was to find him still in her bed, eyelids open and watching her with gentle eyes as she sat up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes while a deep ruddy complexion overcame her fair skin.

"Sasuke-kun…" she whispered, eyes locking.

He didn't say a word, simply sitting up alongside her to run a bandaged hand through his midnight locks. Her flush deepened ever more as he stood from her bed, displaying his nakedness in the bright morning light and it irradiated like smooth alabaster garnished by red markings, muscles rippling as he made his way to the bathroom.

Only once the door clicked shut and the sound of rushing water sounded did Sakura let out her loud squeal of delight sound through her apartment. She kicked her legs out excitedly, entwining her limbs within the sheets of her bed and she laid there, a languorous smile stretching across her plum lips as she sighed dreamily.

…

…

…

"Sooo, how was it the second time around?!"

The shriek came as a surprise upon entering the hospital break room but it was not completely unexpected. After all, Ino lived only a floor below her.

It seemed as though she was blushing a lot lately but this time for a completely different reason. Sakura's eyes shifted uneasily away from Ino's eager one, her teeth gnawing on her bottom lip tirelessly.

"Ah…we haven't really…had time…for that." She finished lamely and Ino's slender eyebrows shot up so high they threatened to disappear into her hairline.

"Whaaat!? You finally get him after all this time and you've guys only done it _once_!?" Ino exclaimed loudly and Sakura's temper flared, taking notice of the other women casting inconspicuous glances their way, some even scuffling off and whispering to their fellow nurses.

"Geez, Ino, keep quiet!" Sakura whispered harshly and Ino managed an apologetic look.

"Sorry, sorry! But, he hasn't left for a week! That's the longest he's stayed! How could you possibly pass up so many chances? Any sane women would never even leave the bed!"

Sakura's blush deepened and spread, her temple throbbing at the blatant truth to her friend's words.

"I know," she bemoaned, a tingling sensation running through her body as it did every time she even thought about _that_ night. Except, she doesn't say that she had no idea where Sasuke ran off to everyday. Ino spared her a sympathetic look before something caused her to perk up.

"Oh yeah, I forgot to tell you! Naruto was admitted last night! He's alright but…you might wanna check up on him. You were the second thing he asked about when he woke up!" she giggled and Sakura raised an eyebrow.

"Was the first thing ramen?"

Ino smiled at her.

"No, silly. It was Sasuke-kun of course!"

…

…

…

She was worried about him, of course. The boy – no, man, she corrected herself – was clumsy enough as it was, and added with the fact that he was missing one arm, well…she slammed the door open with no hesitation and hastily strode forward to pull the curtain to the side.

Dazzled blue eyes immediately met hers. It didn't take long for her to notice the bandages wrapped around untamable saffron hair or the large gauze pad taped on his side, a patch of dark red already forming at the center.

"You _idiot-_ "

"Calm down Sakura, we don't need a concussion to add to his list of injuries." She snapped her attention to the laconic voice that came from beside her, not having noticed Shikamaru slouching in the chair positioned by Naruto's bed. His muted green eyes were staring out the window at the clouds floating in the sky but he spared her a momentary glance.

Naruto raised his only hand to scratch the back of his neck out of nervous habit.

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan! It was an accident! We just stumbled on a group of escapees from Kirigakure's prison and, well…" he trailed off, a bit embarrassed in his current state. He hadn't practiced fighting much after the absence of his right arm, and going on a diplomatic mission to Tsunami Mei's village with Shikamaru and Choji right after the war left him no time to even attempt the idea.

But their mission was successful and Kiri would provide an abundance of its construction workers along with plenty of material to rebuild the small villages between Kirigakure and Konohagakure that had been caught in the crossfires of their war.

Sakura's gaze went from steely to soft in a matter of seconds. She smiled fondly at her dunce of a teammate that she had missed while he was away on a month long mission to every country belonging to The Alliance. Obviously enough, Sunagakure had sent its forces not even two days after Naruto had departed and the rebuilding process was steadily rising. Different houses and buildings of all sizes rose from the morning until dawn and with it came the manifold of homeless families settling in.

It wasn't a strange occurrence when more than a few of her patients would outright ask about the wellness and whereabouts of the great Uzumaki Naruto. It was only with a tight smile that she would reply about her lack of knowledge on the matter.

Her smile fell.

She'd been too busy with Sasuke to really make time for her other teammate, after all.

"What's wrong, Sakura?" Naruto spoke hesitantly, brows furrowed in consternation.

She shook her head, willing the tears to dry away before the other man noticed.

"Nothing, Naruto! It's just…I've missed you, baka." Her confession took him by surprise to the point where he looked positively askance.

"Did something happen while I was away? Where's Sasuke?"

She couldn't explain the dolor that resonated within her because was it really that uncommon for her to show that she cared for him without needing something from him in return?

Sakura frowned at him, "Sasuke's fine, Naruto."

He blinked, settling back down in his bed but his face still showed his suspicion.

"Oh."

She planned on saying something, anything really. Ideally, all that crossed her mind was about how Sasuke would never leave them anymore, not with their budding relationship. Just to get rid of the uncomfortable silence that hung over them because they both knew how erratic Naruto's breathing was becoming just from the possible thought that Sasuke had run off again, but Shikamaru stood at that moment, looking her straight in the eyes with a kind of resolve that she had rarely seen. She couldn't help but be slightly taken aback.

"Sakura," he spoke in his sonorous voice, "it's about time Naruto got some rest. He hasn't slept since we got here." He didn't give her time to respond as he grabbed her by the arm and led her out the door, giving Naruto a simple wave and a promise of returning tomorrow morning.

"Bye Sakura-chan!"

The door was clicked shut with a soft echo.

"Look, Sakura…" they were standing in a practically empty hallway with a few nurses scurrying in and out occasionally. She could tell that he was refraining from plucking out a smoke by the way his hands twisted in his pockets.

"Ino sent me word about you and…Sasuke." Sakura blushed a deep cherry but Shikamaru didn't seem to look abashed by anything. "I'm happy for you guys, really. Kami only knows how long you've been pining after him."

They both knew that he would never mention the fact that it hadn't been her fighting tooth and nail to bring him back but she could gather as much from that all-too knowing gaze and the strenuous silence.

"I guess what I'm trying to say is…" he was looking directly at her now, not a nuance of his usual boredom located on his countenance. "To try and be a little bit more considerate of Naruto's feelings. You always seem to forget about him until the last second, after all."

If that wasn't like a slap to the face, she didn't know what was.

But before the other man could just walk off and leave her with an outright-flabbergasted look on her face, she straightened her posture and glared him down.

"What would you know about him anyway? You talk as if you've been there since we were children."

He gave her an unimpressed look. "And you can say that you have? I wasn't the one who used him every time I needed something done. But see, all of this doesn't matter anymore. I will be his advisor so I'll look out for him until I can't otherwise." She took a sharp inhale of breath, her throat constricting and her eyes watering because reality was being thrust toward her without warning and without her steadfast leverage there to comfort her.

"Look, Sakura, all I'm saying is to have some consideration for how he feels. Don't just flaunt it in his face like I knew you were about to. Just because he doesn't ever show you how he feels, doesn't mean he's not hurting inside."

The resonate sound of his steps on linoleum floors signaled his departure but she stood there with her arms crossed around her and her head lowered. She didn't look up even after hearing steady steps coming near her and stopping only a ways from where she stood.

"Sakura?"

The rich voice had her head snapping up and any emotion wiped clean from her face. Her smiles were uninhibited every time she saw him, his illustrious appearance of regal features, long dark hair, and powerfully mismatched eyes were enough for her to hide the pain away if only to see him relaxed. And today, unlike every other day, he wore simple dark pants and a navy-blue tunic, the Uchiha-crest symbol emblazoned proudly on his back.

"Did you come to see Naruto?" she inquired. He nodded, barely, turning to head toward the door but she caught his hand before it could reach the doorknob.

"He's sleeping right now, its best not to disturb him. My shift is over, lets go grab some Ichiraku, ne?" She shot him a saccharine grin, eyes filled with the special delight that came with being so close to her lover.

Her lover….she sighed dreamily, tugging him along by his one hand and completely missing the tight frown on his face and the faraway look he shot the receding door of Naruto's room.

…

…

…

Without any shame and with Ino's voice fortifying her resolve, she led him back to her apartment again after their quaint dinner, her hand never faltering in holding his as she blindly led the way to her darkly lit room.

"Sasuke…" she whispered with all the seductiveness she could muster and he complied with her eager demand of laying him on the fluffy sheets of the bed. She was on him in a beat, rubbing herself along the plane of his muscular body. His arm wrapped around her waist and she looked up to stare at him, concentrating on the knit expression of Sasuke's face.

He seemed…anxious.

"Sasuke?" she questioned while sitting up in his lap.

There was a moment of silence in which they gazed at one another; one in confusion while the other was…indecipherable.

"It's nothing." He reassured her, sitting up and hugging her to his frame. Sakura's body sagged in relief as she snuggled Sasuke's shoulder, hiding the vestiges of her smile in the crook of his thrumming neck.

She came twice in a row that night, his name spilling from her lips and reverberating in her room as a high-pitched scream that echoed into the night.

And when morning trickled through her curtains and onto their sleep-mussed faces, they showered and dressed in silence, one that Sakura didn't dare break for fear of shattering whatever was between them.

Was it friendship? Was it love? Was it even mutual, whatever _it_ was?

"I'll walk you to the hospital today." The sudden announcement caught her off guard but when she composed herself after chugging down a few gulps of water she didn't complain in any way, shape, or form.

The smile that was plastered on her face as they walked the streets together was practically carved onto her lips. They didn't touch, but that was fine with her, because Sasuke never publically displayed any sort of emotion toward anybody, and as long as he loved her enough in the night to make up for it she was happy.

"Well, I guess I'll see you…later?" she inquired hopefully, her scintillating green eyes imploring. He nodded gruffly and throwing caution to the wind she leaned in to kiss him, but a voice had Sasuke stepping back almost instinctively.

"Sasuke…Sakura?"

They turned and met Naruto's suspicious blue eyes head on. Shikamaru stood right next to him, a secure hand placed on Naruto's shoulder while his narrowed eyes scoured both of them until landing on Sakura. She swallowed, averting her gaze to Naruto's once more and mustering up a smile.

"H-Hey, Naruto! I didn't know you were being discharged this morning!"

The suspicion never left his eyes and she felt a cold bead of sweat trail down her neck, not really understanding why she was so nervous, so anxious at the possibility of Naruto knowing about them now that it was as plain as day to see how Sasuke's eyes never left his blue ones.

She crushed whatever modicum of grief that sprouted in her chest and tainted her mind with a miasma of prospects that were likely never to happen.

A toothy grin in place, Naruto finally ripped his gaze away from Sasuke and responded to her. "Oh, well, you know me Sakura-chan! I always heal quickly."

His eyes flickered back onto the quiet Uchiha standing a little ways from her. "Sasuke…I didn't know you were back in the village."

Sasuke hummed, "I arrived a week ago." His gaze was smoldering and intense and Sakura watched closely as something unsaid rung in the air, a meaning she didn't quite catch because everything that was shared between the two men had always been just that, between them. Their relationship, as she had gathered through years of painfully watching, was a visceral one, and it ran far deeper than anyone could ever comprehend.

Naruto stiffened upon hearing his words and Sakura could clearly see the maelstrom of emotions whirling in those azure depths of his. Regardless, he plastered on a smile and didn't meet Sasuke's gaze any longer.

"I guess I'll catch up with you guys later then. Shikamaru is treating me to Ichiraku Ramen!" without so much as another glance their way he tugged on Shikamaru's hand ( _"Naruto, I never said-""You promised, na, Shika?"_ ) and hurried forward.

Sasuke's gaze never wavered.

…

…

…

She sought him out after work, the last rays of the sun filtering out of the village, signaling for the night lanterns and post lamps to come alive and one by one they did as she scurried along the bustling streets, eyes searching and frantic.

He was nowhere in sight. She had checked all the obvious places of where he might be. The relief she'd felt when she found the lights of Naruto's apartment turned off was something she didn't want to think too deeply about.

The stars had come out by the time her intuition tingled and made her way to the Uchiha compound, a place she knew Sasuke definitely avoided since his return, never even once stepping foot in the ghost-town district.

There was no need to search the empty houses. The heavy grunts of exertion and a loud splash of water were enough to beckon her to the nearby dock and she peered down the steep hill.

A lone figure illuminated by the glowing lake, stance rigid and full of awareness that she paused and crouched along the prominence and watched the suspicious ripples disturbing the serene lake.

A shadow of a body became visible underneath the depth of the lake and all too suddenly it broke the surface, wild golden spikes shook free of the water while the rest sluiced along a lean body.

"You fucking asshole!" a familiar voice snarled. Naruto spat out excess water from his mouth as he climbed onto the surface of the lake and grudgingly walked to where Sasuke had sat along the edge of the dock.

They sat side by side and she had every intention to join them and announce her presence and flourish in their individual qualities of companionship, but…her body wasn't moving.

There was an unsettling in the pit of her being, a sense of inadequacy that shook her core and suffused her aching disparity from her own helplessness. It was happening all over again, just as it had when they were mere children, skilled in the world of shinobi where death was their brother and bloodshed was like sharing candy: whoever had the most scars was the most idolized.

But…Sakura had never experienced the full perspective of tragedy, had always been shielded by her indefatigable protector and her silent defender. Despite her astounding physical strength and resolute knowledge in medicine, even those times it was always Naruto who stepped into the wake of things, protected her from the weight of Sasuke's actions, and dealt with the brunt handle of almost every weapon or fist that came her way.

"Only an idiot would fall in." Sasuke intoned.

"You _pushed_ me in!" Naruto shrilled as he threw his drenched shirt with a loud _schlop._

Her eyes caught the way Sasuke's countenance shifted to an imperceptible guilt as he watched Naruto struggle with just one arm before it evanesced as quickly as it appeared.

With a flutter in her chest and the constriction of her throat, Sakura realized, with sudden clarity, that it had been far too long since she'd seen any emotion cross Sasuke's face.

For so long her memories of him had been plagued with his murderous eyes, the ominous chill of witnessing the absolute monster of a man her crush had turned himself into was something that ingrained itself in her head. Much of which occurred in the late hours of the night with a cold sheen of sweat covering her body.

Sasuke had tried to kill her at one point, she remembered, a ball of nerves tensing at the pit of her stomach. But then again, Sasuke had tried to kill Naruto more times than they were all comfortable with.

Yet, Naruto had stopped him from harming her.

So…back then, what was it that had stopped Sasuke from killing him?

" _The solitude…you can't even compare it to the level of where your parents are upset with you."_

His young voice echoed in the recesses of her mind like a quaint lullaby, its serenity soon turning into calamity like clashing cymbals against her brain.

" _Was she having fun in her little make-believe fantasy of true love? As for me, I have absolutely no reason to love her and likewise, I can see no reason why she would love me."_

They were diverged by different roads; pulled from astutely different threads of life. No matter how much Sakura was willing to follow, was eager to love and shred away at the darkness that consumed Sasuke's cold heart, she knew she could never truly understand the pain that burdened Sasuke's soul. A burden that had been made by the fierce love he held for his family, by the bonds he'd created with them and the memories he had shared.

And he'd effectively decided to sever theirs the moment he'd chosen to drive a sword through her because she had failed to drive her own weapon through him. But that day…that day would forever stay with her. Not because of the blood that had been shed, the sacrifices that had been made, or the revelations that had threatened to consume her.

Nothing had mattered when she had seen his shocked expression-

" _What are you talking about?! Why are you so fixated on me?!"_

"… _Because we're friends._ _Save up your hatred and take it all on me, I'm the only one who can take it! It's the only thing I can do! I will shoulder your hatred and die with you! Because I'm your friend!"_ _"_

-a look of complete and utter bewilderment had replaced Sasuke's usually stoic face, and it was only a fortifying proof that his dormant fire thrived and he became alive only around the person that meant the most to him.

The only one who had ever meant anything.

"What if I catch a cold, you insensitive jerk!?"

It was subtle, but she caught it for what it was, having accustomed herself to Naruto's nature with the years she'd spent alongside him.

 _Are you okay?_

"Probably the first bath you've taken in weeks, moron."

It was the way in which she saw the tightness along Sasuke's shoulders gradually unwind, and the barest curl of a smile that splayed on Naruto's face, his eyes never leaving the twinkling stars that shone above, that let Sakura know Sasuke had replied to the underlying question.

From the very beginning, it was Naruto who had been closest to understanding the anguish that manifested inside the heart of Uchiha Sasuke. Had not even for a second given up on him against all odds. After all, if it hadn't been for Sasuke's belligerent indifference and the stubborn admiration Naruto possessed for the lonely Uchiha, their roles could have very well been reversed. While she…

She looked away, ashamed.

She had indefinitely tried to end Sasuke. To sever her remaining connection to him; her love.

Yet, Naruto had always lifted him to the very heavens to touch the stars. Had fought beside him even when pitted against him. Had shared those small, so very small, rare smiles that graced Sasuke's lips on occasion with his own toothy grin. Had defended him even when everyone believed they'd lost him to the abyss. Had _died_ a thousand times over in his head and in his heart every moment Sasuke wasn't there with them.

She deeply regretted the ultimatum she chose at the time. Not having believed in Naruto or herself. She had lacked in so many things as a child still learning the ropes to the way of the ninja and she had honestly believed that her training let those insecure and vulnerable areas grow and flourish.

But yet again she had failed.

Time and time again it had been the boy who no one believed in at first, who never gave up on gaining everyone's attention, who had, inevitably, been the first to truly see Sasuke and accept him while everyone else had simply seen him for the tragic prodigy that he was.

Everything Naruto had sought after, had gone the lengths to do, had overcame and achieved was, in retrospect, because of Sasuke.

"Sasuke, I-"

"This is where my father taught me _Gokakyu no jutsu_."

Naruto didn't respond immediately, instead choosing to simply listen to the words spoken as he sat down next to his rival and friend, his eyes staring ahead at the sullen lake. Sakura watched on, eyes intent, her gaze lingering on the gap between them, the lack of arms painfully obvious in the scheme of everything that was being laid bare to her right then.

"Itachi perfected it his first try while I…I couldn't." Sasuke's voice was somber, eyes glossy with reminiscence as if he was watching it all displayed before him at that very moment. Naruto glanced his way, eyes wide with astonishment until it settled in his chest that childhood memories like theirs…often hurt.

"Do you think about them?" he whispered, staring down at his lackadaisically swinging feet.

"Every moment I'm here."

Naruto's lips thinned, and Sakura could clearly make out the hardening of his jawline.

"Then stop coming here and reminding yourself-"

"Naruto," Sasuke turned to look directly at him then. "You know what I mean." His mismatched eyes seemed pained and Sakura heard the shaky exhale of breath Naruto let out. She wanted to do the same, but keeping herself hidden from them was detrimental. If anything, she did not want to remain blithely ignorant to Sasuke's inner turmoil. At least, that's what she kept repeating to herself.

Steely blue eyes met Sasuke's unflinchingly and Sakura marveled at his ability to do so. There was no intimidation between them, no struggle for control, or embarrassment. It was becoming more and more apparent to her how much alike both men actually were when before she believed them to be polar opposites.

"Do you think about it?" Naruto's gaze faltered, if only for a moment. "About leaving and never coming back?" his voice took on a raspy tone, his throat feeling thick and it became difficult to swallow.

Sasuke held his steady gaze unwaveringly almost as if he was sizing Naruto up or looking for something he could not find on Naruto's proverbial sleeve, Sakura could not tell.

They both waited patiently for Sasuke's answer, neither caring for the fact that they already knew.

"Yes."

The sudden confession had Sakura reeling because with all the time Sasuke and her had spent together, all the missions they had gone on, and all the efforts she had made for him, never once had he ever revealed anything about himself to her. She had shed blood, sweat, and tears for him, and all the same could be said about Naruto, except with him, Sasuke found the voice to speak.

Naruto raised a slow hand to his chest, squeezing his fist above his heart and shutt his eyes tightly. "Then leave."

Sakura couldn't help it this time, she inhaled sharply, falling back from her haunches and landing squarely on her butt but she didn't cry out. The words resonated within her, never having truly believed that Naruto, out of all people, would willingly let Sasuke leave. After spending years chasing after him, never once had he given up on Sasuke while she…she had tried. And now he was willing enough to let Sasuke go?

"Why return so often if this place does nothing but cause you to suffer?" he spoke steadily, with a kind of resolution that was so selfless that it made Sakura's heart hurt for him…and for her.

Sasuke said nothing for the longest.

Sakura held her breath, eyes wide and watery. No matter how much her heart yearned for the reason of Sasuke's reluctant return to Konoha to be her, she knew deep down that she had nothing to do with it. In the wake of it all, the only person who had ever accompanied Sasuke down whatever path he had chosen, despite the distance, despite the bloodshed, despite the betrayal, despite everything, was-

"You."

-Naruto.

Her body sagged.

"I endure for you."

Tears spilled from her eyes like a broken faucet as her heart shattered into a million pieces yet the anger never surfaced, just a deep anguish that had her biting her tongue to hold back the wails.

"Because the suffering I endure is nothing compared to how I feel around you."

Naruto blinked, "Sasuke…wha-"

Sasuke shook his head, cutting him off as he maneuvered himself onto his knees, body hovering over Naruto's as he gazed down at him with so much fire in his eyes than Sakura had ever seen before.

"Back then…it was the same for me. I should have called out to you then, too, and so many times after." He gripped Naruto's shoulder firmly, jostling the stupefied man. "I won't make that mistake again."

He was genuflecting on one knee as he brought a hand to unsheathe his _Kusanagi_. It rang shrilly in the air, the stainless metal glinting white in the moonlight as he held it horizontally between them. His fist tightened along the handle, knuckles white.

With his head high and eyes burning intensely into Naruto befuddled ones he finally spoke, voice strained with emotion.

"You were the only bond I could not- _would_ not sever during my path for revenge. But…as it was, without that, I never would have understood the love that drove my brother."

Sasuke swallowed thickly, shutting his eyes tight at the memory before opening them once again.

"Because we are ninja we must endure, right?"

He lowered his head, eyes downcast as he held his sword tightly.

"On my life, Naruto, I will stay with you. Always."

"Sasuke…you…I…"

Sakura bit down on her tongue with enough force to cause blood to travel down her throat. It tasted bitter. Much like the reality she was facing now.

" _I won't let you do that."_

The air left her lungs.

Naruto stood up resolutely. "You need to leave this place." He pushed vainly at Sasuke's shoulder, his eyes narrowed and wet as tears began to cascade down his scarred cheeks.

Sakura could see Sasuke looking up, positively entranced yet absolutely perplexed.

"I won't sit here and watch you give up the only shred of happiness in your life, Sasuke."

The sword clattered against wooden boards as Sasuke caught Naruto's hand, yanking it to the sky. Naruto let out a cry of surprise, stumbling against the firm body before him.

"Why? Why let me go when you've worked so hard to bring me back?" he seethed into a tan ear, Sharingan flaring with uncontrolled rage.

He had spent days thinking long and hard of his decision, had been absolutely sure that Naruto would be elated. What he hadn't expected was this…this _rejection_. It laid cold and bitter between them and disgust filled his lungs. His grip on Naruto's wrist tightened.

Blue eyes he'd become so familiar with and relished in didn't meet his eyes. They gazed at the surface of the water, taking in the serenity of crystalline lake before Naruto spoke, calm and collected and in a way that surprised Sasuke.

"It's true, I did bring you back, didn't I? I fought tooth and nail and arm to pull you back from the abyss you jumped into yourself. However, what I said back then still holds."

Sakura watched as Naruto yanked his arm but it did not come to rest at his side. It remained in the air, fingers slowly interweaving in inky locks and both their heads moved to meet in the middle.

Blue eyes glared fiercely into mismatched ones with such passion Sakura wondered how someone could love another person so greatly and so purely.

The breeze picked up, trees rustled, a cacophony of insects sung in the night as the leaves danced in the spring air. The black cloak adorning Sasuke's shoulders swirled and revealed his arm as it came up to grip Naruto's waist.

"I hurt when you are suffering. I share you're pain, Sasuke, just as you share mine. Right now…right now I can't stand to see you this way. Every time you step foot in the village…the ache is unbearable. Just-"

Naruto inhaled harshly, fingers trailing from feather-soft tresses to caress a sharply structured cheekbone, thumbing along the pronounced jawline.

"-just give me time, Sasuke. So when the moment comes for you to settle down…you won't have to endure. Not for me. Not for Itachi. Not for anyone. "

His hand stopped along the juncture where neck met shoulder and he felt the distinct warmth that always seemed to permeate off of the other man. It spread throughout his palm and suffused to the rest of his body, tingling his senses.

Sasuke's entire body seemed to relax altogether but his arm shook, almost as if he was unsure of whether to pull the other man closer or push him away.

And Sakura didn't want to find out.

So she left without a backward glance, silent tears cascading down her face and dripping onto the ground.

Once in the security of her dark and empty apartment did she finally allow herself to fall apart.

…

…

…

Sakura had not seen hide or hair of Sasuke after the painfully raw events that had unfolded before her very eyes just a few nights ago. Merely thinking about it made her feel so barren and cold inside that she immersed herself in work to stray her mind away.

She knew Sasuke and Naruto always had things that were kept away from her. But she felt it almost traitorous that they held a sort of untouchable and clandestine existence far away from everyone else. Their visceral bond was something she found rather…distasteful.

More than anything, she wished to be so universally in touch with her one and only love that her very soul ached in longing.

Two days had passed and it was still the only thing on her mind. He hadn't bothered looking for her, and she merely reciprocated the action despite her entire being begging her to think otherwise. One thing she did gain in her travel through life was self-respect, after all.

So it came as a complete surprise when, upon staggering into her dark and empty apartment and fumbling for the lights, that she sensed a presence in her living room far too late.

One dark eye gazed at her from across the room; the other that she knew to be dangerous amethyst was covered by equally dark hair.

He said nothing and Sakura's body burned from the restraint of wanting to run to him. She shut the door behind her with a soft click and calmly toed off her sandals.

"Sasuke…" she was practically breathless and there were a million questions that immediately surfaced in her mind.

 _Why are you here?_

 _Why aren't you saying anything?_

 _What does this mean?_

 _Have you come back to me?_

But she saw the underlying regret in his eyes and in the creases of his unearthly countenance. It might have been because she was a selfish woman deep down under her façade of a caring friend. It might have been because Sasuke just looked so open, a stark contrast to what she was privy to. It might have even been the exhaustion that had seeped into her very bones accompanied with the constant feeling of loneliness while lying in bed, restless and impatient for sleep to consume her.

Either way, she strode to him and her lips are already planted on his before she can stop herself. She's lost, her body having succumbed to the strength that has coincidentally become her weakness. And he doesn't stop her.

When she finally climaxes she screams his name over and over again like it would soon be forgotten. She holds him tight against her naked and thrumming body as if it was the last time she'd ever get to hold him. She kisses him fiercely like the taste of his lips was threatening to all but vanish from the world.

Her world.

They laid on her bed side-by-side, no longer touching when he decides, after a moment, to sit up. She watches the muscles of his back ripple under the moonlight, appreciates the glistening of his ink-black hair and notices how long its gotten that it tickles the nape of his neck. He looks completely unruffled and she hates him for it.

"Why?" she finally asks and it's almost like a solemn plea.

He doesn't face her when he answers, "Because its what you've wanted."

"What do you mean?" she questioned suspiciously, sitting up. His back is still to her when he responds.

"'It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all', isn't that something to adhere to? Considering the lives of _shinobi_ , that is." He looks at her then, _Rinnegan_ looking as lethal as its wielder.

" _What?_ " she hisses incredulously, eyes blazing and she makes a grab at his shoulder but instead she's whirled around with such inhuman speed that it dizzies her. Sasuke has her wrist trapped in his grip. He's staring at her now, a storm brewing in his eyes like she's never seen before.

"You think you know me," He finally says after a beat of tense silence and his intense gaze makes her squirm as she tries to hide her body with the thin cover that had been haphazardly pushed to the side.

"In your mind you feel like you've fought for me. Loved me, even. But that's far from the truth."

He lets her go as if she was nothing. Anger builds inside her, red-hot and blinding enough that she lunges forward with a fist and a purpose.

Just as expected, her fist connects with nothingness. He's behind her and a cold shiver claws up her back when she feels his breath against the back of her ear.

"I did this on a whim." His tone is distant even though he's so close that she can feel his familiar and oh-so comforting heat radiating off of him. "This was never meant to hurt you, but I suppose that was inevitable."

She whirls around, words ready and on the tip of her tongue but she's voiceless when he meets his gaze.

"It was a simple act of gratitude, one that wasn't deserved."

It was disconcerting that it was only now that he'd actually spoken this much to her in all their times spent together.

"I love you." Her whisper is broken and raw with emotion but he doesn't even hesitate.

His eyes narrow at her, "You're still so naïve, Sakura."

He puts a hand to her face, gentle and almost lovingly. His thumb swipes the loose tear that's already spilled from her eye.

She's wide-eyed and helpless, leaning into his touch and fighting herself to pull away, knowing very well that she would never be able to.

"Your emotions waver and your own insecurities cause you to latch onto everything, like a small petal going against the wind. Unable to make your own choices and fight for them without doubt. Much like the village."

His hands draw in a lock of pink hair and he twirls it around his fingers.

"Stop this infatuation. You're only going to hurt yourself, Sakura." He hesitates for the first time but keeps his gaze on her, "I have never loved you."

A world burst asunder she fell to her knees, clutching onto the sheet wrapped around her desperately. She wants to do anything, scream, fight, yell, thrash, punch-

But she simply stares at the ground as Sasuke dresses and exists, her silent tears falling to the floor like a physical outlet for the love she had once held. She can't breathe.

Then the sobs come because more than anything she knows he's right.

Because between her labored breathing and heartbroken weeping, she felt the veritable hatred begin to bloom for the man who'd undoubtedly tore her heart out.

…

…

…

* * *

 **Unbeta'd**

 **Author:** This will have a sequel; don't kill me just yet…please. If anyone has complaints on Sakura please refer to the author's note at the very top.


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